How we say a thing is generally just as important as what we say. Sometimes it is important because we can change the meaning of the words we use by the way we say them. If we place weight on one word rather than on another we can change the feeling of our words. By changing the expression of our voice we can suggest that we are serious or that we are speaking only in Play. For example, you may say to friend: You really are the most senseless person I ever met! With such a remark you could break with your friend forever, but in 9 cases out of 10 such a remark will have been made lightly, as if in play, and if under the words there is just a suggestion of seriousness your friend is free not to remark upon it because you have made the statement so lightly. Sometimes people do not wish it to be said that they are not speaking the truth, and yet they do not want to speak the truth. They therefore take words which in themselves could be true but use them in such a way as to suggest a different meaning. It is not, however, only in connection with meaning or the results of our words that it is important to be careful. How we use voices is important in itself. We often hear such remarks as: She has such a pleasing speaking voice or Her voice really gets me down. I simply could not live with it. And it is true that there are voices we like to hear and voices that we do not like to hear.
Few of us really know the sound of our own voices. It seems that our hearing is not planned in such a way as to let us hear ourselves perfectly. We therefore often go through life thinking we speak in one way when, in fact, we speak in some quite different way. Our opportunities for hearing our own voices are much better than they used to be because recording machines are now quite common, and most of us can find an opportunity at some time or another to speak into such a machine and then have the record played back. Generally such an experience is a surprise. I was personally very much surprised at my own voice. The first time I heard a record of it was some years ago. I was in a strange town, and I went into a big store. This store offered for quite a small sum to let you speak into the recording machine and they would then send the record of your voice to any part of the world. I thought it would be good to send a few words home to my mother, and I accordingly thought up a few words, said them, paid, and went away. Some weeks afterwards I heard the record. It was a surprise but no just the kind of surprise I like. I had always thought I had a rather light voice and said my words reasonably quickly. I found that on the record my voice was low, almost deep, and that I had been speaking at a very rate.
More recently I made a full-size record speaking throughout at 100 words a minute, but the result was just the same. On the play-back I heard a low, rather deep voice, speaking at about 10 words a minute! We can never really know ourselves what we look like, what we sound like, how our actions appear to others. Perhaps this is just as well because, even if we cannot really see ourselves as we are, it is equally certain that other people do not see us as we really are, either. The opinions each person holds about another person are influenced by that person’s many experiences, as well as by the quality of the person’s own hearing and seeing. There is one thing that we can do, however, and that is to train ourselves to speak and act in a way that we ourselves believe to be satisfactory. If we cannot please others we can at least try to please ourselves, but it is important, highly important in fact, that we try to follow only the best examples.
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